Monday, April 13, 2009
It's "Fired Up" meets "Passion of the Christ"
Coming soon to a theater near you, a teen comedy of biblical proportions: Ten Things I Hate About Commandments
Thursday, April 2, 2009
LEAKED! X-Men Origins Wolverine
As most of you may or may not know, there is a copy of the X-Men Origins Wolverine making its rounds on the internet. Word around the campfire say this is a Workprint and is VERY good quality. If you're not in the know of what a Workprint is, it's an unfinished loosely edited version of the film which is usually used for screening purposes or to show the big wigs how their money is being spent and or wasted on.
It's also said that this copy has like many Workprint films CGI markers. Basically what this means is you'll actually see parts of the film that are supposed to have special effects but instead there will be shots of basically "Put stuff here" flags. There have been talks of re-shoots and added scenes and this copy is NOT supposed to reflect that. This is supposed to be 14 minutes shorter than the final cut of the film destined for theaters. This intrigues me immensely. I would love to see this copy and then see the finalized cut. It's the ultimate special edition comparison no one will ever see. How is it paced here and how will it be done in the new cut? What was better in the original and what could have been done better in the new cut? You get the idea. Not many will see this Workprint, that is unless you know your way around a keyboard and few P2P sites you're golden.
This comes as a major shock to the studios and the news as the film is slated for a May 1, 2009 release. It's expected to rake in HUGE bucks and with the release of this Workprint guess what? IT STILL IS. Even if the stories are true about the re-shoots and the added shoots, that the story and plot needs work, the fact that Ryan Reynolds has been given a major role in the film to iron out the kinks or that this will be sold on every street corner in NYC, it doesn't matter. People will flock to this movie like stink on a Pink Panther sequel anyway.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Zombies attack Pennsylvania! Again! Sort of…
Late night commuters in the Richlandtown area were the first to be warned of the dangers awaiting them. As they headed towards their destinations on Route 212 last weekend, they couldn't help but notice the alert posted for motorists on the roadside digital message board: "ZOMBIES AHEAD."
Pennsylvania has a long history of being plagued with swarms of zombies. In the late sixties, the dead inexplicably rose and began feasting on the flesh of the living. Swarms of these reanimated corpses swarmed over rural Pennsylvania, forcing survivors to board themselves up in secluded farm houses on that fateful Night of the Living Dead. Nearly a decade later, massive hordes of homicidal corpses (and the occasional biker gang) would drive people into shopping malls to wait out the shambling cannibalistic cadavers during the Dawn of the Dead. Since then, you could barely throw a rock in Pennsylvania without hitting an undead creature thirsting to feast upon the flesh of the living.
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Pennsylvania has a long history of being plagued with swarms of zombies. In the late sixties, the dead inexplicably rose and began feasting on the flesh of the living. Swarms of these reanimated corpses swarmed over rural Pennsylvania, forcing survivors to board themselves up in secluded farm houses on that fateful Night of the Living Dead. Nearly a decade later, massive hordes of homicidal corpses (and the occasional biker gang) would drive people into shopping malls to wait out the shambling cannibalistic cadavers during the Dawn of the Dead. Since then, you could barely throw a rock in Pennsylvania without hitting an undead creature thirsting to feast upon the flesh of the living.
They live again! Well, sort of…
Pennsylvania motorists reading the zombie alert were warned not about living dead fiends, but of a new brand of mischievous pranksters running around. Armed with online instructions on how to gain access to the control panels of electronic traffic signs, rebellious teenagers (we assume) are hacking into the systems across the country and posting roadside warnings of their own. Oddly enough, the majority of pranksters involved in these shenanigans must be huge fans of zombie entertainment like Brian Keene's The Rising, Patrick O'Donnell's Zombie Factory, and Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide. This would explain why most of the tampered messages feel the need to proclaim the imminent danger that the supposedly swarming ghouls pose.
Most law enforcement officials have described these acts as childish vandalism and techno-geek tomfoolery. But maybe these random warnings of zombie attacks are just the sort of wakeup all we need. Those commuters who were simply amused by the roadside warning might be shocked to know that a recent 2005 study found that Pennsylvania is still completely unprepared for the eventuality of a zombie apocalypse. How many states have enacted a Zombie Alert System? To my knowledge, the number still stands at zero.
When the dead eventually do rise from their eternal slumber and feast upon us, we can claim to have been caught off guard, but we can't say that we were not cautioned.
Friday, March 20, 2009
DEAD SNOW to be released 6/12/09
When this film first came to my attention i had this undying "NEED" to see it anyway i could. Unfortunately i haven't yet, but all is not lost. It has finally been given an official American release date! Albeit a small release mixed in with Summer wannabe blockbusters such as The Hangover, Imagine That, Land of the Lost and The Taking Of Pelham 123. Somehow i think I'll be seeing this instead.
We here at This Movie Sucks! are Splatterpunks and are awlays looking for Horror movies good or bad but more importantly, Zombie movies! Now when you incorporate this and add NAZI ZOMBIES you have in my opinion, movie gold.
I give you...DEAD SNOW!
We here at This Movie Sucks! are Splatterpunks and are awlays looking for Horror movies good or bad but more importantly, Zombie movies! Now when you incorporate this and add NAZI ZOMBIES you have in my opinion, movie gold.
I give you...DEAD SNOW!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Most film critics don't contact the authorities...
This is kind of funny, so I thought I would share it with everyone.
Roughly two years ago, I had a major argument with a (now former) friend over the phone. Ugly and nasty things were said, mostly by me, and the phone call went on for a good twenty minutes before either of us hung up. That was the last time either of us talked to one another, and I've never felt the need to look back.
Fast forward to present time.
Last week, I posted a quick blog entry parodying a current series of Pledge commercials. In it, a young woman is locked in a glass box by Jigsaw and forced to clean a dirty kitchen or face a gruesome death. I gave the female character in the brief screenplay excerpt a common woman's name, picked at random, and quickly moved on to other writing projects. Apparently, I'm the only one who moved on.
This morning, I received an email from that old former friend of mine. It turns out that I inadvertently gave the young woman in the blog post the same first name as his wife. He has informed me that he has taken this as a threat against her, and has informed police of the blog post. It also seems that I accidentally invited them to several social networking sites ten times over the past two years (they had a dated list of all ten occurrences), so he's adding those to the list and accusing me of harassment as well.
This is funny for several reasons:
1) I honestly didn't use his wife's name on purpose. I mean, really. Two years later, and sudenly I'm out for blood?
2) No harm actually comes to the young lady in the SAW VI parody screenplay snippet.
3) It was a parody piece. You know, like humor and stuff?
...and most importantly...
4) The fact that they saw this post and mentioned in their email that it appeared on several of my blogs (two, actually) means that, in all likeliness, they have been monitoring all of my blogs and internet output OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS!
For two years they have watched my every move, waiting for me to tip my hat and expose my devious master plan, watching wide-eyed in anticipation for any kind of sign that I am about to unleash the hounds of Hell! Apparently, the name I used in this blog post was the moment they were waiting for.
I'm sorry, but I find this all rather hilarious.
As funny as it may be, however, I have no need for petty quarrels. I especially don't need to incur the paranoid wrath of someone who apparently plans to report me to the authorities whenever I write something he doesn't like, or inadvertently name a character after someone in his immediate family.
Fear not! I will not be censoring myself in future works, no matter how many cyber-stalkers I attract in the years to come. But, just to help others move on with their lives, I am going back to my SAW VI posts and changing the name of the young woman in the humorous post to Judith. It is my hope that this small action will cure cancer, and world hunger, and allow the poor delusional souls of the world sleep a little easier tonight.
I just hope I don't know anyone named Judith...
Roughly two years ago, I had a major argument with a (now former) friend over the phone. Ugly and nasty things were said, mostly by me, and the phone call went on for a good twenty minutes before either of us hung up. That was the last time either of us talked to one another, and I've never felt the need to look back.
Fast forward to present time.
Last week, I posted a quick blog entry parodying a current series of Pledge commercials. In it, a young woman is locked in a glass box by Jigsaw and forced to clean a dirty kitchen or face a gruesome death. I gave the female character in the brief screenplay excerpt a common woman's name, picked at random, and quickly moved on to other writing projects. Apparently, I'm the only one who moved on.
This morning, I received an email from that old former friend of mine. It turns out that I inadvertently gave the young woman in the blog post the same first name as his wife. He has informed me that he has taken this as a threat against her, and has informed police of the blog post. It also seems that I accidentally invited them to several social networking sites ten times over the past two years (they had a dated list of all ten occurrences), so he's adding those to the list and accusing me of harassment as well.
This is funny for several reasons:
1) I honestly didn't use his wife's name on purpose. I mean, really. Two years later, and sudenly I'm out for blood?
2) No harm actually comes to the young lady in the SAW VI parody screenplay snippet.
3) It was a parody piece. You know, like humor and stuff?
...and most importantly...
4) The fact that they saw this post and mentioned in their email that it appeared on several of my blogs (two, actually) means that, in all likeliness, they have been monitoring all of my blogs and internet output OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS!
For two years they have watched my every move, waiting for me to tip my hat and expose my devious master plan, watching wide-eyed in anticipation for any kind of sign that I am about to unleash the hounds of Hell! Apparently, the name I used in this blog post was the moment they were waiting for.
I'm sorry, but I find this all rather hilarious.
As funny as it may be, however, I have no need for petty quarrels. I especially don't need to incur the paranoid wrath of someone who apparently plans to report me to the authorities whenever I write something he doesn't like, or inadvertently name a character after someone in his immediate family.
Fear not! I will not be censoring myself in future works, no matter how many cyber-stalkers I attract in the years to come. But, just to help others move on with their lives, I am going back to my SAW VI posts and changing the name of the young woman in the humorous post to Judith. It is my hope that this small action will cure cancer, and world hunger, and allow the poor delusional souls of the world sleep a little easier tonight.
I just hope I don't know anyone named Judith...
Fox Looking to "Reboot" Fantastic 4 Franchise
I am not a fan of the Fantastic 4 movies. I didn't even read the comic book. This doesn’t mean that this film franchise can’t be great. Fox is looking to wash away your stained memories of just about everything you’ve seen so far and “reboot” the franchise as a whole. This is easier said than done. They’ll need quality writer/writers, a skilled director and, most of all, actors with enough chops to pull it off. I was not impressed with any of these aspects in the previous F4 movies. Fox is said that they want to make the series ‘less bubble gum’. I think that means they want them to suck less.
They’ve obviously been watching the success of Iron Man and The Dark Knight, both of which raked in oodles of cash with more adult and serious comic book themes. Fox actually had a director that wanted to turn the F4 franchise in that direction, and they blew it. That man is of course Iron Man director himself Jon Favreau. They must be shaking their heads and kicking themselves on a daily basis. They opted out of Favreau's vision, and decided to go with Tim Story, whose previous works were Taxi and Barbershop. Yet another brilliant executive decision by FOX.
If this franchise overhaul does happen, and I’m sure it will, expect either the same actors with much darker roles, or an entirely new cast playing completely retooled characters. I would prefer new actors, but FOX probably figures it would be too dangerous to do that.
As much as I disliked the first two films, just remember of how bad it could really get. Here’s a little taste of what could possibly be a nominee for the next Bad Movie Day If we decide on comic book movies as the theme. I give you my first nomination, Roger Corman’s 1994 atrocity, The Fantastic Four.
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