Moviesucktastic: 2/7/10

Saturday, February 13, 2010

This Valentine's Day, Give the Gift of Penis

Or, to be more precise, give the gift of MovieSucktastic Episode #11, the Valentine's Day Special. The focus of this episode? Full frontal male nudity in film.

In their last episode, Joey and Scott spent a fair amount of time discussing the lengthy nude wrestling scene between Oliver Reed and Alan Bates in the Ken Russel film Women in Love. As much as they tried to put it behind them, this flagrant display of thespian penises left a taste in their mouths that they simply couldn't ignore. The idea of full frontal male nudity in films kept growing in their minds, until it was far too hard to keep down. Finally, the decision was made: A Penis Episode must be recorded.

Here it is, just in time for Valentine's Day, an episode sure to fully satisfy the hopeless romantic residing deep inside you. In this special Valentine Day Penis Episode, Joey and Scott take a long, hard look at the films in which they have been exposed to male genitalia in their cinematic past, stretching from the recent viewing of Women in Love all the way back to their first traumatic childhood glimpses of nude actors in film.

So, join the proudly erect co-hosts of MovieSucktastic as they pay homage to the male actor's package this Valentine's Day. Download it from iTunes, Podcast Alley or Podcast.com, and give it to that special someone who makes you throb whenever they are near. They will thank you in the end.

Have a Penis Film that you think was unfairly overlooked? Share your soreness with Joey and Scott at themovieguys@moviesucktastic.com, and they'll do what they can to stroke your ego during the next podcast.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Bad Movie Alert: MacGruber

MacGruber is not only a completely convoluted and unsuccessful parody of MacGyver, it is based on a commercial. And not even a very popular commercial at that. Wonderful.

Honestly, I think I'd rather see a film based on the exploits of the Free Credit Report band.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Episode #10 - Naked Men, Looker Labs and Avatar Apologists

The newest episode of the MovieSucktastic Podcast is up, just in time for all of those movie-lovers snowed in across the East Coast. This time around, on top of our normal Top Ten review and Finger List nominations, Joey and Scott give their in-depth reviews of the latest round of movie challenges.

Joey's challenge to Scott this episode: the 1969 Ken Russel adaptation of D.H. Lawrence's Women in Love, one of the first mainstream films to ever feature full frontal male nudity, as well as the first film to win a Best Actress Academy Award for a role featuring a nude scene. That's right, you get to see Glenda Jackson's boobies. Unfortunately (for Scott, at least), Oliver Reed and Alan Bates get much more nude screen time.

Scott's challenge to Joey: The eighties science fiction thriller Looker, written and directed by Michael Crichton nearly a decade before Jurassic Park made everyone forget about this film and Runaway. A scathing indictment of advertising, plastic surgery, and the notion that a sexy model can also be smart, Looker also features a former Partridge Family member in the buff. That's right, you get to see Susan Day's boobies. Fortunately (for Joey, at least), Albert Finney does not strip down for the cameras as well.

On top of all of this retro naked fun, Joey and Scott take a look back at their previous review of Avatar and decide on a new position regarding the film's quality, based mostly on the rabid defense it has received from its almost cult-like fan base. Let's just say they're a little less forgiving this time around.

Check it out on iTunes, Podcast Alley or Podcast.com, and then write to them at themovieguys@moviesucktastic.com and let them know what you think. You've heard from them, now let them hear from you!

Avatar Review: Yes, It Changed Everything After All [Review] (gizmodo.com)
Oscar odds and ends and facts and figures (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
Guild Awards Snub 'Avatar' (nytimes.com)
Sandra Bullock Threatens To Cut Meryl Streep!! (perezhilton.com)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Look Behind You! Scary Mirrors Montage.

Some film genres are defined more by their cliches than they are their achievements. While this might be a bit unfair, it can be pretty funny, especially when the cliche in question is so predominantly embraced by the filmmakers despite its vast overuse.

Next to the Trip-While-Running-Through-The-Woods gag, one of the most popular scare tactics for horror films has been the sudden appearance of someone or something in the mirror behind someone. In celebration of this well-worn gimmick, the darker forces pervading the atmosphere over at FourFour have created this entertaining montage of scary mirror scenes.

Watch it with the lights off. And if see a reflection in the monitor of someone behind you while you are watching, don't worry. It's just me.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Bad Blu-ray Releases for February 9

Running Man (1987) - Most likely the second-worst Stephen King film adaptation ever (with

Cover of The Phantom

Lawnmower Man (1992) stealing the trophy), nothing begs for a high-definition Blu-ray release more than a Predator (1987) reunion featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger running around in a skin-tight body suit with professional Cuban sidekick Maria Conchita Alonso at his side (kicking, presumably), throwing around cheesy one-liners so bad they make Commando look like a David Mamet production. Rob Cohen's textbook example of what kind of film you get when you burn through director's like soiled tissues.

The Phantom - Billy Zane, Treat Williams and Catherine Zeta-Jones team up in what was for years
considered by many to be the worst comic adaptation ever, until Frank Miller's complete and utter desecration of Will Eisner's The Spirit made everybody forget about Billy and his tight blue costume.

Hard Rain - One of the later films in Christian Slater's "How to Destroy a Promising Career" tour, this Die-Hard-In-An-Abandoned-Town-During-A-Major-Flood was originally titled The Flood, but received a quick name change when test audiences complained that it gave away the ending. Yet another glowing example of how Morgan Freeman's career can survive any kind of natural disaster.