Friday, February 24, 2012

Moviesucktastic #62: The Devil and Max Devlin

The Devil and Max Devlin
Image via Wikipedia
A short preamble to the upcoming live Moviesucktastic Oscar Special, Joey and Scott take time out of their busy schedules to take a quick look at the past week's Top Ten Box Office list, and discuss Scott's last Movie Challenge to Joey, the amazingly underwhelming eighties Disney film The Devil and Max Devlin.


The first PG film ever released by Disney, The Devil and Max Devlin is the typical light Disney fare of Satanic influences and the intentional corruption of innocent youth. The rather unenchanting story of a grubby slumlord forced by a demon named Barney to damn the souls of three obnoxious children in order to save his own, Elliot Gould and Bill Cosby share top billing on this awkward and haphazard retelling of Stephen Vincent Benét's The Devil and Daniel Webster, even though Cosby only pops up periodically to annoy Gould's character and not make the audience laugh. 


Gould is uncharacteristically unappealing throughout as he drops his past anti-establishment persona for that of middle-aged creep, and Cosby is equally unfunny in the role of humorless demonic taskmaster. Add to this the Disney demographic-driven stable of child actors, including the pig-faced Eight is Enough troubled child star Adam Rich, an unattractive Barbara Streisand wanna be, and a meager yet enhanced interrogation level soundtrack comprised of only two (!!!!) Julie Budd songs repeated ad nausea, and you have what could possibly be the most depressing and uninspiring Disney film since The Black Hole.


Disney's idea of a Bill Cosby role.


Listen to Moviesucktastic #62 for an in depth examination of The Devil and Max Devlin by The Movie Guys. This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast PicklePodcast Pup and Pod FeedIf you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.



And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline908-514-4470. Call in with your Oscar predictions and shame us!
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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Moviesucktastic #60: Ghost Dad

Cover of "Ghost Dad"
Cover of Ghost Dad
Looking for a suitable movie link to JD's Revenge for his next Moviesucktastic Movie Challenge to Joey, Scott runs with the theme of Urban Ghost Stories and plays the Ghost Card with the film that successfully ended Bill Cosby's feature film acting career and Sidney Poitier's feature film directing career, the inexplicable Ghost Dad.

Meant to be Bill Cosby's comeback film to make everyone (including Cosby himself, apparently) forget about the Leonard: Part Six debacle, Ghost Dad only manages to make the audience wish wistfully for the visual tomfoolery of Cosby riding ostriches and buttering killer lobsters. Bill Cosby is an overworked single parent who consistently neglects his bland and uninteresting children while trying to secure their financial future through "The Big Deal" he is brokering at his vague job involving placating a bunch of old white men. Then, hilariously, he dies and begins haunting his children. Comedy gold, right? The fact that Ghost Dad seemed to be suspiciously timed to beat the Patrick Swayze vehicle Ghost to the big screen by three months makes the end results even that much more depressing. A no-budget special effects film that was obviously butchered and cut short due to budget constraints, Ghost Dad serves as little more than a bitter reminder to Autumn Jackson that hers wasn't the only childhood devoid of Cosby's Jello-Brand Gelatin parental guidance.


This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast PicklePodcast Pup and Pod FeedIf you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.

And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline, 908-514-4470. Call in with your Oscar predictions and shame us!
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Monday, January 30, 2012

The Official Moviesucktastic Oscar Nominations Film List/Guide/Ballot

War Horse (film)
Image via Wikipedia
Best Picture
War Horse
The Artist
Moneyball
The Descendants
The Tree of Life
Midnight in Paris
The Help
Hugo
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Best Actress
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Viola Davis, The Help
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn

Best Actor
Demian Bichir, A Better Life
George Clooney, The Descendants
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt, Moneyball

Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The Help

Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Max von Sydow, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Best Director
Michel Hazanivicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life

Best Original Screenplay
Michel Hazanivicius, The Artist
Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, Bridesmaids
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
J.C. Chandor, Margin Call
Asghar Farhadi, A Separation

Best Adapted Screenplay
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash, The Descendants
John Logan, Hugo
George Clooney, Beau Willimon and Grant Heslov, The Ides of March
Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin and Stan Chervin, Moneyball
Bridget O'Connor and Peter Straughan, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best Foreign Feature
Bullhead
Footnote
In Darkness
Monsieur Lazhar
A Separation

Best Animated Feature
A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

Art Direction
The Artist
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
War Horse

Cinematography
The Artist
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
The Tree of Life
War Horse

Costume Design
Anonymous
The Artist
Hugo
Jane Eyre
W.E.

Documentary Feature
Hell and Back Again
If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front
Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
Pina
Undefeated

Documentary Short Subject
The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement
God Is the Bigger Elvis
Incident in New Baghdad
Saving Face
The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

Film Editing
Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Kevin Tent, The Descendants
Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Thelma Schoonmaker, Hugo
Christopher Tellefsen, Moneyball

Makeup
Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston and Matthew W. Mungle, Albert Nobbs
Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland, The Iron Lady

Music (Original Score)
John Williams, The Adventures of Tintin
Ludovic Bource, The Artist
Howard Shore, Hugo
Alberto Iglesias, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
John Williams, War Horse

Music (Original Song)
"Man or Muppet" from The Muppets, Bret McKenzie
"Real in Rio" from Rio, Sergio Mendes, Carlinhos Brown and Siedah Garrett

Sound Editing
Drive
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

Sound Mixing
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Moneyball
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

Visual Effects
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
Real Steel
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Short Film (Animated)
Dimanche/Sunday
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
La Luna
A Morning Stroll
Wild Life

Short Film (Live Action)
Pentecost
Raju
The Shore
Time Freak
Tuba Atlantic


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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Moviesucktastic #59: 2012 Oscar Nominations Show

Academy Award
Image via Wikipedia
As happens every year, Bad Movie Month (January) leads into the supposedly Good Movie Month of February with Oscar Season, and The Movie Guys take advantage of this seasonal event by using this episode of Moviesucktastic to take their initial look at the newly released Academy of Motion Picture's list of Oscar Nominees!

Joey and Scott take a few moments at the beginning of the show to talk about Scott's new job, his recent trip to California, his eager consumption of cow throat glands and his long term issues with ear wax buildup, before diving into the past weekend's Top Ten Box Office list. As usual, the Top Ten segment wraps up with the Finger List, and Scott trashing a widely respected film (this week's title to incur Scott's hatred: Schindler's List).


Schindler's List - Best Romantic Comedy Ever

After a brief moment spent lamenting the recent trend towards 3D in films (yes, again), and a quick verbal assault on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Joey and Scott spend the second half of the show taking a closer look at the Nominees for the 2012 Academy Awards. As well as the usual bitching and moaning about the Academy, their recent Ten Best Picture decision (Nine this year, just to be annoying), and hammering out the details of this year's live video podcast of the Moviesucktastic Oscar coverage, Joey and Scott touch on the films filling the roster of the top main categories. Tune in and get the inside scoop on who is going to win, who is going to lose, and how lame Ben Stiller is going to be this year. The time to prepare for this year's Oscar Awards show is rapidly dwindling!

Trailer for Every Oscar-Winning Movie Ever


This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast PicklePodcast Pup and Pod FeedIf you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.

And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline908-514-4470. Call in with your Oscar predictions and shame us!
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Monday, November 21, 2011

Moviesucktastic #52: Batman Returns, 11-11-11

Welcome to Moviesucktastic #52, brought to you by the classic crime drama 52 Pick-Up.

This episode, Joey and Scott delve into the dark recesses of the new film 11-11-11. Not since Friday the 13th has a premier-weekend-opening-date-specific titled film been so eagerly anticipated by an audience thrilled by the mere concept of seeing a film in a theater on the date scrawled across the marquee! Does the film have anything to offer besides a conveniently coincidental release date and title? If by "anything" you mean moments of spine-tingling terror emanating from the masterfully crafted screenplay of a taught theological thriller, then the answer is a sad, whimpering "no."

But not so fast! Before delving into the Land of Elevens, The Movie Guys (Joey and Scott) examine the top ten box office hits of the past week, weighing in on the hits and misses, adding their own entries into this week's Finger List, and inexplicably remembering that episode of Silver Spoons in which a young Rick Schroder dressed up in drag so he could accompany his lonely friend on a date.



But not so fast! Before they can get hip-deep in pseudo-numerology, Scott diverges onto a path leading towards bitter rage and indignation. Having recently bumped into one of those vile, soulless bastards trolling the internet and acting like complete ass-hats whenever they should stumble upon those whose opinions differ from theirs (you know the type), Scott taps into his reserve of Post-Avatar-Aggression and swings long and hard at the Facebook loser who dared to imply that his dislike of the Tim Burton travesty Batman Returns disqualified him from being able to call himself a "Film Buff."

Knowing better than to get in the way of one of Scott's tirade's, Joey steps back and lets Scott take over for a lengthy and unapologetic rant against Batman Returns and those Facebook fiends who would dare question his film criticism credentials while defending such a steaming pile of cinema. Just to show they play fair, the Moviesucktastic Hotline number is given out, along with an invitation for Scott's newest reel rival to call in and defend his honor.Let us hope he takes the bait.


Finally, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, Joey and Scott wearily descend upon this week's feature review, the tragically boring and poorly crafted 11-11-11, written and directed by Saw II, III and IV director Darren Lynn Bousman, and forever tainting the sterling reputation of the Saw film franchise. Joey and Scott spend a great deal of time struggling to come to terms with how hackneyed and cliche the film's plot is, how badly and ham-fisted the dialogue is, and how non-frightening the multitude of cat-in-closet scares were overall. In fact, according to Scott, the creepiest part of the entire film is how in-depth Joey became with spotting the instances of the number eleven being surgically implanted into the film's background. If you can't tell how this one ends after the fifteen minutes, you might be the same guy who defended Batman Returns as a work of cinematic genius. Scott ends their sad look back at 11-11-11 by recommending a good film involving evil religious cults, The Nameless.


As with previous episodes, the show wraps up with yet another installment of Scott's Sucktastic Theater, in which he continues reading from the novel which served as the inspiration for the film Gymkata, Dan Tyler Moore's The Terrible Game.

"Jonathan could literally feel the wild nervous energy of his pony."

This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast PicklePodcast Pup and Pod FeedIf you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.

And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline908-514-4470. Especially feel free to call in if Scott spent half of the episode calling you a jackass. This means you, CA.

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Friday, November 11, 2011

Moviesucktastic #51: Action Jackson

Film poster for Action Jackson - Copyright 198...Image via Wikipedia
In the tradition of Formula 51, Planet 51, Dossier 51, and of course, Area 51, Moviesucktastic brings you: Episode #51! For this landmark episode (our very first fifty-first episode!), Joey and Scott tackle the man of the hour, a tower of power, and cool Detroit cop all the ladies want to be frisked by, the one and only Action Jackson!

The Movie Guys start off the show with some industry news, discussing Brett Ratner's unceremonious removal as Producer of the 84th Annual Academy Awards show due to his "Rehearsals are for fags" comment (proving that he chooses his words as carefully as he chooses films to direct, i.e X-Men: The Last Stand, Red Dragon, Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2, Rush Hour 3), and Twilight-meets-Grimm fairy tale film adaptation Snow White and the Huntsman, in which the Huntsman not only refuses to kill Snow White, but trains her for combat to defend herself (proving that Hollywood can take even a classic story already told hundreds of times and weigh it down even further with a tired premise).


After this brief look at the dismal state of affairs regarding upcoming releases, all eyes turn to the indomitable Action Jackson! Don't let the carbon-copy James Bond movie poster fool you: Sgt. Jericho "Action" Jackson is no 007. No sir, this tough as nails Detroit cop doesn't play Blackjack and sip martinis, he plays dominoes and cracks open big cans of whoop-ass, all while spending as much time shirtless as humanly possible. The future city of Detroit might need a Robocop to protect it, but the only thing this modern day Motor City needs to stop the evil plans of Auto Magnate Craig T. Nelson (and do you really need a reason to want to see someone beat the living snot out of Craig T. Nelson?) is an Oh-No Cop, as in Oh No You Didn't! Or, as Action Jackson would say: "How do you like your ribs?" Just be warned: whatever you do, don't piss him off.


The show wraps up with yet another installment of Scott's Sucktastic Theater, in which he continues reading from the novel which served as the inspiration for the film Gymkata, Dan Tyler Moore's The Terrible Game. For good measure, Scott and Joey share some quick stories pant-less about mutual friend Buszna before signing off.

This episode of Moviesucktastic is available on iTunes and Zune, or on Podcast PicklePodcast Pup and Pod FeedIf you are on the go, you can stream it on the fly directly onto your smart phone using the sweet-ass Stitcher App. And, as always, you can also download or listen to the show streaming at Moviesucktastic.com.

And while you're at it, be sure to drop us a voice mail on the Moviesucktastic Hotline908-514-4470. Just don't talk no jive, unless you're prepared for some Jackson Action.

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