Moviesucktastic: 6/7/09

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Official: David Carradine NOT a Suicide!

I hate to come right out and say "I told you so," but no one in the offices of This Movie Sucks! were ever convinced that David Carradine had committed suicide. We implied as much in our initial post reporting the actor's death.

Granted, when we first heard simply that he was found hanged, it was just a gut reaction. It would be like hearing that James Woods was caught taking ballet lessons. Some things are just too inconceivable to comprehend. The contradictory reports coming from Singapore, with police saying 'suicide' and managers saying 'natural causes', it was obvious that something weird was going on. Then, the phrase "found hanging in closet" hit the news cycle, and our minds were made up. No of David Carradine's stature hangs himself in a hotel room closet. That's just plain nonsense.

Well, the official word is out, and forensics expert Dr. Michael Baden has declared that, unless contradictory evidence is supplied with materials requested from Singapore, David Carradine's death was in no way a suicide.

So, now that the cat is out of the bag, I think there is an important question that must be asked here and now.

Exactly where was Chuck Norris at the time of David Carradine's death?

Granted, it is just speculation that Mr. Norris was responsible for the mysterious death of Bruce Lee, and there is no real evidence to connect him to the accidental death of Lee's son, Brandon. But now that yet another Martial Arts practicing actor with ties to Chuck Norris has met with a sudden and unexplained demise, I think it is time that we start keeping an eye on old Chuck.

We'll keep you posted as the evidence unfolds.

Taking Bad Movies on the road - The Guerrilla Drive-in!

Image via Wikipedia

I stumbled upon this the other day, and this could quite possible change the face of Bad Movie Night for us cinema trash freaks over here at This Movie Sucks! Just imagine pulling into any parking lot with a big blank wall and firing up Treasure of the Four Crowns for anyone who cars to pull over and watch. I get a tear in my eye just thinking about it.

Just imagine your typically urban highway, cutting through a sea of strip malls and mega-stores. Cars passing on the way to or from somwhere else, dusk settling over the landscape. Suddenly, one of the car's passengers notices something flashing across the side wall of a vacant Circuit City. The driver slows down long enough to recognize an old Italian zombie film being projected against the building's dingy white wall. Curious, the car pulls into the lot, where half a dozen people are enjoying the show. The newly arrived audience members are instructed on which channel to tune their radio into, and they settle in for the rest of the first half of that night's double feature, Demons 2 and Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things.

You see? Bad movies may rot the brain and bruise the soul, but they can still bring people together. I'm sorry, I have to stop. If I keep going, I'm going to start crying again...

Start a Guerrilla Drive-in (aka MobMov) - More DIY How To Projects

The set-up seems fairly simple, with the only major cost being that of a decent projector. We'll keep you guys posted, but I am already looking into the possibility of converting my 2000 VW Jetta into a traveling Bad Movie Drive-In. Maybe we can even get the Phillipsburg/Easton area on the MobMov region map.

As a wise philosopher might have said if plied with enough cheap liqueur, "If we can't bring the people to the bad movies, than we shall bring the bad movies to the people!"