|Promoting "Staying Alive" in Sweden (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
This week, news that the dreaded Hollywood Machine (or, as John Travolta would say, "Homosexual Jews") was contemplating a Tom Cruise-starring remake of the not-even-a-decade old Stephen Sommers debacle of a Universal Monsters homage, Van Helsing. The mutual disgust felt by your faithful film review podcast hosts has never been disguised or concealed, yet the film has never garnered an official full-bore MST review, so this dreadful soul-withering news seemed like a perfect opportunity to follow up on our hatred for Van Helsing by spitting a little venomous bile in its general direction.
But first, Entertainment Industry News! And what would entertainment news be without vile, salacious rumors and accusations leveled against a popular A-List actor? Usually, that would be this show. However, news of recent charges of sexual assault leveled against John Travolta of The Experts fame that breath life into past accusations of the Swordfish star's closeted homosexuality, and so The Movie Guys decided to run with the story. Not because of the supposed scandal that claiming the co-star of Look Who's Talking is secretly gay is supposed to evoke, nor the fact that it is yet another (yawn) Hollywood celebrity sex scandal.
No, instead, we decided to run with the story based solely on the fact that the publicized text from the actual lawsuit spends an inordinate amount of time describing various aspects of John Travolta's penis, demonstrates the awkward sexual advances of a film star normally portrayed on screen in films like Perfect as a smooth operator, and includes accusations that he was forced to perform gay sex acts to secure the role of Vinnie Barbarino on Welcome Back, Kotter. (Scott's money is on Gabe Kaplan).
But fear not! We don't spend too much time on John Travolta's penis, as our recent re-watching of Van Helsing is more than enough to leave one feeling used and violated. Between Hugh Jackman's hair extensions and John Travolta's penis, there is plenty in this week's episode to leave a bad taste in your mouth.
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