What I Learned From Avatar

• Humans will always be driven to destroy all that is beautiful and natural.
• Corporations are evil and untrustworthy.
• No matter what evil deeds are perpetrated by corporations, the CEO will always escape any penalties.
• God is the Internet, Heaven is one giant Server, and we are all Plug & Play data ports.
• The best belief system is the kind that can be proven through scientific method.
• 3D makes everything better.
• The Tribe Leader’s young warrior son will always come off as a royal prick until you get a chance to bond with him in the third act.
• It is okay to kill marines if they are private contractors and not on the government payroll.
• A planet-wide rainforest ecosystem will contain only six or seven distinct animals.
• Michelle Rodriguez is contractually obligated to die in everything she stars in.
• When felling a tree measuring over a mile high, not one person is going to think of saying “Timber.”
• Floating mountains can have waterfalls despite having no source for the water to come from.
• Its okay to have a completely predictable storyline if it costs half a billion dollars and looks really cool.
• Superstitious shamanistic races are more likely to deal with foreign interlopers who show up magically possessing bodies built to resemble their own.
• The idealistic alien race is built like an impossibly thin ten-foot-tall runway model .
• Destroying your girlfriend’s home and killing her father will break up your relationship, but if you show up later with a totally hot ride, she’ll take you back in a heartbeat.
• Ten years of development, and the most creative name that James Cameron can think of for his film’s fictional rare mineral is Unobtainium.
• Even worse, the movie poster tagline he could come up with was Believe It, Or Not.
• People will pay to see anything in 3D.

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