Moviesucktastic

Friday, June 5, 2009

Remembering David Carradine - The Warrior And The Sorceress 1984

When I was a kid, I was a video junkie. I would always go to my local video store, called Palmer Video, in my then hometown of Belleville, NJ. This store was a bad movie fan's dream! They had everything. Even though Palmer Video was a commercial chain, it was still a mom-and-pop-shop operation, in every sense of the term. I guess everything was like that back then. They had one wall dedicated to just all new releases, and only one copy was ever available for everything, always. The first time I ever heard the word "reservation" was at a video store. I remember waiting days (and often weeks) to get my hands on a movie we had on "reserve."

They also had what I still consider, even to this day, one of the BEST horror sections ever. It was blocked off so the little kiddies wouldn't have nightmares from looking at the wonderfully grousome boxes. I would always wander in there before I went anywhere else. I still vividly remember browsing over titles like Make Them Die Slowly, Eaten Alive and Cannibal Holocaust in these HUGE porno sized VHS boxes. The boxes would proudly scream warnings like "RATED X FOR GRAPHIC VIOLENCE," and "BANNED IN 31 Countries!!!" They also had saloon doors sectioning off the ADULT area that you could easily see around, especially if you were an 8 year old boy just hoping to get a glimpse of "the good stuff". I even remember the animatronic props they would display for films, such as a cleaver chopped down on the wrist of a hand while the fingers were still moving for Motel Hell. Surely we could never display something like that today, "Mothers Against" groups would never allow it.

This brings me to this little Italian film called The Warrior and the Sorceress. One day I walked into my local Palmer Video only to see this HUGE stand up cardboard cutout of the picture you see above. I HAD TO SEE THIS MOVIE! Look how cool that poster is! I grew up in the 80's, when wizards and warriors ruled the bad movie scene. They pumped out these types of flicks like Octomom pumps out kids. This movie had it all; overdubbed acting, sorceress enhanced swords that can slice through stone, and even a four-breasted dancer! Beat that Total Recall! (and 6 years earlier i might add.)

To this day, I still own this movie on VHS. I don't even own a VCR anymore, but I still own this movie. Every once in a while I get nostalgic and want to watch it, but then I sulk as I remember that I can't. It did receive the DVD treatment in 2002, but I missed the boat, and it is now discontinued. As much as I loved this film when I was a kid, I refuse to pay for a bootleg VHS to DVD copy, or buy the DVD from some schmuck who thinks his copy is worth $44 before shipping at Amazon.

I will, however, keep an eye out for it. On this note, I leave you with a few snippets of what is one of my earliest and fondest memories of David Carradine, 1984's The Warrior and The Sorceress! Enjoy these small but cool moments as I have over the years. Unfortunately, I could only find one English speaking clip, but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying Carradine's performance.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

David Carradine Dead In Bangkok: Found Hanged, Claims Report

David Carradine as Caine in the original Kung Fu

Image via Wikipedia

Some sad news reaching us from Bangkok, the sudden and as of yet unexplained death of film star David Carradine.

David Carradine Dead In Bangkok: Found Hanged, Claims Report

Reports are still coming in mixed: original reports have him found hanging in his hotel room by a maid Thursday morning after not showing up for dinner with his fellow actors the night before. Official spokespersons for Carradine, however, have gone on record originally as believing it was natural causes, and later holding back any details out of respect for the family. Of course, this kind of behavior is perfectly understandable for friends and associates of Carradine, who no doubt would like to avoid a media circus surrounded the tragic death of such an esteemed colleague.

David Carridine is a personal favorite of the crew here at TMS!, and we will no doubt post an update this weekend, along with a look at our movie rememberances of an iconic actor and screen legend.

Friday, May 29, 2009

This Weekend Sucks! Box Office Update for 5/29 : Drag Me Up To Hell!

Post Memorial Day Weekend releases always make for strange bedfellows. These are the films that aren't quite Summer Release material, weren't big enough for Memorial Day Weekend, yet still deserve some prime Box Office Real Estate.

So, if you are looking to catch a new flick in the theaters this weekend, you can either look to the heavens or go to Hell. Seriously.

On the high end of the spectrum is Pixar's latest computer animated feature, UP. UP is the first PG rated Pixar film since The Incredibles in 1994, which is a good sign that the movie might be more than goofy toddler pandering.

Some people find it hard to bad mouth kid's films. I myself find it even harder to bad mouth kid's

Image by _heather_r_ via Flickr

films featuring a curmudgeonly misanthropic old man in the heroic roll. Actually casting curmudgeonly misanthropic old Ed Asner to do the voice is truly inspired. Finally, an animated feature without Ray Romano's irritating whine. Just think of Grumpy Old Men meets The Goonies. Who can say no to that?

I have very specific rules when it comes to animated features, and none of them are very rational. One of these is that I do my best to avoid cartoons in which animals speak. Up's technologically jacked up dog (aptly named Dug) threatens to break this rule, but I'm willing to give him a pass since it is his translating collar that does the talking, not him.

Now, if you rather take the low road, you'll end up asking the annoyed teen in the ticket booth to Drag Me to Hell, Sam Raimi's unrequested return to the horror genre.

Don't get me wrong; I'm a huge Raimi fan. But he's been doing so well with mega-budgeted superhero flicks that you have to wonder why he's want to take a step backwards into the schlock he struggled to make a career out of in the old days. I love the Evil Dead series, and even Darkman. But as we are fond of saying here as TMS!, a film isn't good just because you like it.

Image via Wikipedia

Based on a screenplay written by Sam and Ivan after Army of Darkness back in 1992, Drag Me to Hell feels like a late '90s horror film. Then again, almost all ghost-curse-possession films these days feel like late '90s horror films. As much as I love horror films, its hard to feel any sympathy for people stupid enough to stay in a house five minutes after they've discovered that it even might be haunted.

Drag Me to Hell doesn't deal with a haunted house. Instead, the source of pain and agony for our young attractive heroine is a good old fashioned Gypsy Curse. The problem is, sympathy is still hard to come by.I'm not quite sure what was going through Raimi's brain. With today's economic climate, fueled by hatred of the greedy banks that managed to suck everybody dry before asking for government bailouts to help pay the bills, one wonders why he would make the main character played by Alison Lohman (filling in for Ellen Page) a bank teller. Even worse, she becomes the recipient of her demonic death sentence after the elderly woman she tries to evict from her home casts some major voodoo on her. After that, with this heartless bitch and her idiot boyfriend (Justin Long, desperately trying to be more than That Guy in the Mac Commercials) trying to save her hide, I've got nothing to do but root for the Gypsy Curse. Seems like a waste of time, if you ask me.

And for all of you old school Raimi fans; sorry, no Bruce Campbell guest appearance in this one. He was too busy working on Burn Notice to swing by for a day. So there you go, yet another reason to give this puppy a pass.

So there you have it. Kid's film or horror flick. Some choice, eh? Choose wisely, for the next choice might be your last. Well, it probably won't. But it sure sounded cool, eh?

Vincent Price in Bloodbath at the House of Death

It looks like this obscure little classic cult film starring Vincent Price is finally making its way onto DVD. Writer/Director Ray Cameron cobbled together this low budget farce, parodying everything from slasher films to box office hits like E.T. in the same way that films like Scary Movie still do today.

Bloodbath at the House of Death will be getting a DVD release in the UK at teh end of June. Its always great to see little films like this finally get exposure, even if it is on the other side of the pond. Let's hope that the US gets this classic soon.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Booth Reviews - 4/24

Silence of the Lambs: The Lego Musical

This is rather amusing until you consider that with the slew of random films being turned into Broadway musicals, this could soon become a reality. As interesting as it would be to see Hannibal Lecter become the next Phantom of the Opera, I seriously doubt that a Silence of the Lambs musical would be scarier than Legally Blonde or 9 to 5.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Philips to release 21:9 TV

Philips will be releasing a true 21:9 LCD TV this Spring. Will you want to shell out big bucks for it? Well that all depends on how big a movie buff you think you really are and if you're willing to part with seven thousand smackerkroos, yeah you heard me right $7,000! I really don't understand why this is so much. I get that the screen is probably going to have to be specially made as nothing is being manufactored in this aspect ratio and at this size (56" is the launch size if I'm not mistaken) but there is nothing NEW about the technology, it's old hat.

My biggest problem with this TV is in fact aspect ratio. It boasts a 2.33:1 aspect ratio which is a much wider but shorted picture than 16:9. Most movies are filmed in a 2.35:1 or a 2.39:1 and then cropped to 16:9 for the general consumer in such formats as DVD, Blu-ray, TV and cable. This isn't to say that films are ONLY made this way. A lot of films and shows are actually shot in 1.78:1 or 1.85:1 or in more layman's terms a 16:9 aspect ratio. What about all the tons of material thats been done that way? It's plain and simple, this type of TV is only made for the type of movie buff that can shell this kind of money without blinking and has a large collection of 2.35:1 and 2.39:1 films. I consider myself to be a pretty big movie buff but i have absolutely no desire to own this and here's why.

You could watch those aspect ratios (16:9, 1.78:1, 1.85:1) in one of two ways on this screen. The first way would to have black bars on the sides of the screen much in the same way you do when watching standard broadcast TV which has a 1.33:1 ratio (Fullscreen) on a standard 16:9 TV. It would be the very same way. The second way would be for the picture to fill the screen and thus causing it to look wide and squished. You'll find some cable channels boasting that they are Hi Def and they are simply taking 1.33:1 shows or movies and doing exactly this. Another thing that poses a problem is that not all movies are shot with this EXACT ratio of 2.33:1 they are using for the TV. Most if not all movies are actually shot in 2.35:1 or 2.39:1 and there are more than a few that were shot in 2.55:1 and 2.78:1. No matter what movie you watch there are going to be times when there is going to be some sort of black bars somewhere on the screen or the picture cropped improperly. Personally I'll take a standard 16:9 screen and have black bars at the top and the bottom. I don't mind, i came from the age of Laserdiscs, remember those? They are pretty much the reason we even have widescreen TVs.

Not that long ago when widescreen TVs were just making their way into the market they weren't 16:9. I remember seeing one of the very first widescreen TV's in the form of a rear projection TV. It was a 21:9 aspect ratio showing The Wizard Of OZ, it looked atrocious. The picture seemed good for the time but the aspect ratio was all wrong. I even asked them to put on another film and they chose a Star Wars demo disc and the crop of the picture on that was all wrong as well because Lucas chose a 2.55:1 aspect ratio to film his movies. What people don't realize is the reason 16:9 became the standard is because of all the ratios that exist, plain and simple. With a 16:9 TV you'll always be able to watch your entire library with the simplest of ease. If you're like my wifes ex-boss who used to hate the black bars so much, he used to take a towel and put them on the top and bottom of the TV so he wouldn't have to see them. If that's you and you're contemplating buying a TV like this for that very reason, well maybe you're not ready for any of this.

The commercial is VERY cool though.